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“PC Nipples” and “flower cops” make it easy to mock the police

I live in this temporal World: over the years I have had to become rather used to reality. Much as I hate it from time to time.

Reality, however, is just one of the immutable, well, realities of life.

A female police constable in Dorset enjoys, amongst her apparent duties, the role of a peripatetic schools liaison officer.

She was called to adjudicate over the matter of what is described as “a playground scrap”. Gone are the days, it seems, when one might expect teachers, as part of their obligations to pastoral care, to act as a sort of ex-officio referee in such affairs, employed to ensure it was not a matter of bullying and the rules laid down by the Marquis of Queensbury were adhered to and that the bout did not go too far.

It was part of growing up.

Now, it must be made into a “Federal Case”!

In this particular case, the female PC visited the school and discussed this heinous offence with the boys involved: when she left the room for a short while, some of the boys started referring to her as “PC Nipples” and “Ball Bag”.

When she returned, a “snitch” immediately informed her of what had been said in her absence.

Now, it may come as a surprise to “PC Nipples” and other Politically Correct Masters, but pubescent boys are noted for their hormone-driven sexual confusion and a fixation on female human anatomy. Clearly, they don’t really know what sex is all about, or, for example, they wouldn’t have believed calling a female “Ball Bag” could be apposite.

If they do, then they obviously have some learning to cover in biology!

Young boys, in my opinion, can be pretty horrible objects: they hold distance spitting contests; think farting loudly in the classroom is fun; they award each other the most horrendous sobriquets, usually of a sexual or bodily function nature, often not actually knowing the full import of what they are saying!

If “PC Nipples” gains much experience as a genuine Police Officer then she is likely to suffer being called a range of unpleasant epithets, ranging in nature, from aspersions on her parenthood to descriptions of sexual deviancy.

It is called life: and quite normal!

Yet, as a result of the dire injury to her person, she and her colleagues set up a ‘Star Chamber’ – with the blind and myopic support of the school and subjected these desperados to what is called a “Restorative Justice Session”.

Now, since these sociopaths had not been accused of any crime, per se, and furthermore, since it was an alleged offence, based upon hearsay, the chance of the CPS accepting a crime had actually been committed would have been slight, to say the least.

However, “PC Nipples” and her self-appointed ‘Restorative Justice Junta’, acted as Police, Judge and Jury!

The headteacher of the school can equally be excoriated, for taking the side of injustice: rather than acting as a proper teacher and actually demonstrating the wisdom and power to teach and keep control of pupils: not really surprising, since one has come to expect utter slavering incompetence from educators, these days. A perspective not improved when one learns recently that circa 27% of school leavers are incapable of reading and comprehending a train time table!

Apparently, quite obviously fearing mayhem, in order to carry out the session, the famed “PC Nipples” needed the support of a sergeant, another uniformed officer, and plainclothes Community Safety Manager.

Pretty determined career criminals these boys, then.

This silly women has now, of course, made a rather significant rod for her own back: police locker rooms and canteens are noted for their banter and use of nicknames.

It would be too much to expect, naturally, that “PC Nipples” and her righteous posse could have found some real crime to detect or prevent: silly me, in the nasty outside real World, where you are called nasty names, it rains and becomes cold and there’s the chance of injury.

Much better to drive around, wasting fuel, shuttling between a nice warm station office and various schools, ensuring when youngsters grow up they think all coppers are utter fools.

Am I being over-cynical to expect, in a few years, “PC Nipples” to mount a Sexual Harassment action, over her being referred to by mammary nicknames and walking away with two hundred thousand quid or so, in order to salve her dreadful mental anguish?

Read the full story here.

Read about more Police over-reaction in Dorset.