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Arise Alexander Kemal

Bizarrely, the nativist grassroots membership of the (so-called) Conservative party have elected an American-born cosmopolitan liberal who goes by the name ‘Boris Johnson’ as their next party leader.

And following the official resignation of the hapless Theresa May, who failed to deliver Brexit, ‘Boris Johnson’ will become the next UK prime minister later this week.

A full-page profile in the Sunday Times newspaper by a friend and former journalist colleague detailed the putative prime minister’s interesting back story, which is already public knowledge, concerning his Ottoman Turk great-grandfather.

Harry Mount writes: “His great-grandfather was a Turkish Muslim. Boris Johnson should really be called Alexander Kemal: his great-grandfather’s family changed the surname from Kemal to Johnson; and Boris’s real first name is Alexander. Boris is a middle name.”

The Brexit messiah or just a very naughty boy?

Despite his rather fluffy views on illegal immigration and ‘gay marriage’, deluded traditionalist Tories seemingly think he can deliver the Brexit of their dreams, assuming he isn’t toppled beforehand or defeated in a subsequent general election which eventually leads to Brexit being reversed after another (rigged) EU referendum.

For ‘Boris Johnson’ himself, despite a an earlier attempt which was dashed by infighting, becoming prime minister is the culmination of a boyhood dream bolstered by his privileged education and gilded social existence, despite his chaotic early years.

Thanks to his confected cartoonish public image, he has managed to acquire a common touch with the wider public. Fingers firmly crossed, the Tories hope his instant public recognition will fend off any Brexit Party insurgency against their party, particularly if Brexit itself is stalled (again) or (even worse) results in a half-baked EU-style fudge (rather than the promised ‘no deal’) if his administration hits the buffers.

Only a fortune teller would guess what happens next, but it could end something like this!

Potential Boris Johnson resignation speech?